Soul journey in the Maldives.

Time moves so fast. I am back in the USA, and never had a moment to reflect on my time in the Maldives.

In all honesty, I did not know what to expect. I was invited as a “visiting practitioner” at the luxurious Fairmont hotel and island. Upon arrival I was shown to my beautiful villa and I would start seeing clients the following day.

Back in Sedona, visitors come to experience healing, transformation or spiritual connection. I am free to practice any or all of the modalities I have learnt during the past seventeen years as wellness practitioner. On honeymoon-island, I wasn’t sure that this would be the case. Many European holiday-makers escaped the winter of their home countries, not in search of enlightenment, but simply sunlight.

I knew that I had to create a session, that would open new-comers to the metaphysical/energetic component of their existence, so that they may find the peace they were craving. I had to do this by creating a field of deeper relaxation they had ever experienced, combined with a felt experience of insight.

After guests explained their particular challenge, the meditative part of the session would being. Singing bowls and tuning forks would ceremoniously open the session for us, so that I could channel the messages of their bodies, relayed through lightly touching their torso. In meditation, guided to the ultimate light, we’d access the space of healing, of letting go, reforming, forgiving and reframing. Sometimes the puzzle of anxiety or heartache or longing would keep us there, until finally the resolve of self-love, spiritual-love and acceptance would untie the knots in surrender.

Tears were wept, insights were gained and memories resolved.

When you show up as a channel of light, you will be used to the capacity you’re willing to be used at. I wish to continue to serve as a channel of light.

May your dis – ease resolve to bliss and your burdens become the light.

Much love

Meditate or Medicate

The rumbling sound of suitcases rolling across the airport floor competes with continuous announcements echoing throughout the building.  The buzz of human voices filling the gaps of others’ pauses, rushingly urges me to the first prayer room I can find. Thank god, it is empty. I know it is reserved for followers of the Islam religion, which I don’t practice, however I’m grateful for the quiet.

I’m traveling, with several connecting flights, from my home in Arizona to South Africa where it is uncertain whether my father, a leader in the protestant church, would make it through the night.

He had been hospitalized with pancreatitis and at his time, already spent a good month or two in ICU (intensive care unit). I was sent for to come home, with the instructions to meditate for him.

So thankful for the airport room away from the bustle, I focus my mind until a sense of calm arrives with the understanding that everything is okay. With the acceptance of everything as it is, there is no rush, no tension. Everything is okay, as it is. Nothing is without meaning, allow it.

I am not quite sure what my father’s understanding of meditation was, and what caused the sudden wish or desire for it. However, arriving just as my dying father had rebuked my siblings’ ridicule towards my esoteric practices, made an impact. I’ve often though about it after the shock and adjustment to the inevitable had settled.

Meditation is not some wonder power that can can suddenly change the outcome of life events when all else is tried and failed, yet it is true that meditation does hold some kind of miracle to it. The miracle of presence may sound mundane, boring and I’m sure you’ve heard it before – perhaps too many times. Without the practice, it can be difficult to imagine how the exact same circumstance can be experienced as heaven or hell, in various degrees.

It is Albert Einstein who said that: “There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.”

He also said that: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

In a similar way, we cannot heal the body or the mind from the same place it became ill, and we cannot expect the miracle of health, when we don’t live as if life itself is a miracle.

I recently listened to a talk by Yuval Noah Harari, predicting that AI is directing us to a life where everything is controlled, predetermined and free from the miraculous input of the unseen, something he seem to think of as unreliable and inconvenient. I think that Mr. Harari is in for a big surprise.

In many ways, modern life is adapting to, that of capitalism and power,  training our bahaviors towards optimum financial gain through strategic popularity and optimized use of our waking hours, which leaves very little room for contemplation and the breathing space to consider life as a miracle. In the chase to survive through competition, most of us are left behind in a race we can not get ahead of and anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, anti-ADHD; concentration, digestion and blood pressure medications become ordinary coping mechanisms, despite harmful long- and short term side effects.

Fun facts:

• An estimated 31.9% of adolescents had any anxiety disorder. (National Institute of Mental Health 2018)
• An estimated 19.1% of U.S. adults had any anxiety disorder in the past year. (National Institute of Mental Health 2018)
• 1 in 6 Americans take antidepressants (NBC news,)

So what does Einstein refer to when he says that we cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it? Does he imply that there is an alternate, perspective from where the problem, the illness, the anxiety, depression, nervousness, agitation, discomfort, sadness, depression, inadequacies can be viewed from? Does he refer to AI?

Perhaps he refers to the space we access through meditation, where progressive relaxation and mindful concentration, can prevent, manage and sometimes cure conditions mentioned above.  I believe that he refers to a point of distance in time and space as solution to a desired outcome. By projecting our minds in this space, we gain understanding from our soul’s perspective, and that perspective is inclusive, perfect and grateful.

As we follow our own breath in and out, and prioritize our attention on only that, the tapestry, the puzzle, the order, and the design of life becomes apparent. Every detail of life appears as a miracle. It is only by stepping out of the details with which we identify with so closely, that we can see the mastery of the design. Just imagine yourself to be a speckle of paint of a watercolor piece portraying its hues in depth. The only way to see your definitive purpose in the painting – beautiful piece of art, is by stepping away from it,  gaining perspective with a little distance to appreciate it as a whole.

Slower and slower and slower, each breath slows down, as an iridescent white light opens up to the door of that which on earth is unknown to us. Do you panic and breathe a sigh, or do you travel with the light, ride the breath, too subtle to feel, and glide in the realm where words don’t exist?

Will it be on your deathbed, too, where the doorway of consciousness greets you as miracle of life? Or will you open up to it today?

Consciousness, miracles, it shines through the tops of trees in the forest. It sways you into a slow twist in the warm desert wind, it skips a beat of your heart under the sparkling display of a meteorite shower. It sprinkles your skin with the mist of an ocean wave and we get reminded, that we are more than what we see, we touch, we hear. Thus, close your eyes and practice the art of breathing, dying, and living mindfully by concentrating into meditation.

Stop for a miracle.

Slow down world!

Do you ever look around and wish that everything will just slow the heck down? Sometimes, I look at everyone around me and I literally want to yell out STOP!

Actually, that is probably not the worse advice. When we can see the franticness for what it is, a hustling game for more, we’re probably a little closer to who we are, and thus a step ahead of the game.

I experienced this the first time when I was in kindergarten. I was 6 years old. I had a speech impediment and “real school” was about to start for me,  Grade 1, we used to call it “sub A.” The problem didn’t look like it was correcting itself and my mom was getting worried that I may be made fun of, yet I was too shy to work with a speech therapist. What to do!

A moment of insight hit me one day, when I realized that my whole family was moving about frantically for no practical reason at all. In that moment, I perceived myself as slowing down, observing my environment and consciously deciding to be myself, at my own pace, rather than to play the role that was available to be part of. In that moment, my speech corrected itself. The little miracle relieved the whole atmosphere in the house.

Of course, no-body knows the truth of the real miracle, the inner work, the decision to remove myself from the drama, which was the basis of the little miracle.

How often do we think that we have to look busy, chase our dreams, goals, responsibilities, when in fact we can sit back, observe where energy is needed and simply apply it? It is our own insecurities driving us to believe that we have to fit in, perform, impress, achieve; that we have to do it all so that maybe something will pan out right, or that we have to do all we can in order to succeed.

Our mental clutter has us believing that we have to do everything at once. Multi-tasking is even considered a virtue. However, when we have the courage to trust in our own being as enough in the moment, we release the false idea that we have to prove ourselves to others, or even ourselves. We get to see one thought, one action at a time, and our productivity increases by a thousand fold. We get to move at the pace of nature, and thus nature, a self-correcting force, supports our doing and make it looks like miracles appear above the surface.

Sit still every morning before moving into your day. Do this every day. The mere action of  sitting still with a mindset removed from racing around, affirms that you are, you have and you share enough. Isn’t this what the race is about? To have enough, to be enough, to give enough?

Different Kinds of Empathy and What to Do With It.

Empathy! It has become such a buzz word.

I often hear people referring to themselves as being “an empath.” Being empathic has come to be a kind of qualification for doing all kinds of magical transformational healing on others, and also the secret code for sudden entitled withdrawing behavior. Do you recall hearing of people having to “protect” themselves from other peoples energy, because they are an empath?

Empathy is the sensitivity  that allows us to perceive the experience of another.Beside the fact the being empathic is a key quality to what makes us all human, it is true that this quality is more developed in some than in others.

On one of the the two extreme sides, there is the seeming absence of empathy, usually as result of harsh stimulation during childhood. In such cases, the person handles emotional matters very business-like, factual and sometimes insensitively  – think of Sheldon in the Big Bang theory as an example.

The other extreme is someone who feels the pain and excitement of everyone they deal with. They are so easily swept up in the emotions of the group, that they have no way of distinguishing between their own feelings and the feelings of those around them. You may personally know a person who resembles this.

Yet, what really is empathy, and what do we do with it?

According to the Dalai Lama, There are three kinds of empathy. Cognitive empathy – the ability to understand another person’s point of view; emotional empathy – the ability to feel what someone else feels; and empathic concern – the ability to sense what another person needs from you. It seems that these three kinds of empathy originates in different parts of the brain and can be developed independently.

It is all good to have a clear understanding of another person’s point of view, or emotional intensity or what they may need from you, however it is what we do with that information that matters. Having access to so much information can be an open invitation to self-deceiving games of manipulation, power play, false assumption and even control.

In order to use empathy wisely, we need the quality of compassion. Without compassion, frankly we have nothing to go by. After all, you may understand another’s point of view perfectly. You may have been in that situation several times, yet without compassion, the quality which has no judgement, private goals or agendas, you may unwittingly misuse this information, this empathy to your own advantage for self-validation, self-betterment, or self-importance.

“Through compassion you feel the depth of an experience. You feel it with love, with understanding and the peaceful anticipation of a positive outcome. Compassion doesn’t know fear and is free from judgment. It is a proactive quality, operating through selflessness. Compassion allows for an experience of limitation to be transformed through itself, to greater love and connectedness.” Guidance Cards – kiahealing.com

Empathy can be developed through meditation. Because the proper practice of meditation make use of the whole brain, this is a recommended way to develop all 3 types of empathy. However, since empathy is mere result of meditation, the highlighted importance on empathy falls away as a person naturally becomes more compassionate, sensitive to the needs of others and mature in one’s understanding of all that is.

For any practice of sensitivity we undertake, its counterpart of resiliency has to be developed too. Resiliency has a quality of humility, tremendous endurance and patience. This is the way to being effectively empathic, regardless of the circumstance.

May we cultivate compassion above all and naturally benefit and serve through the empathic resonance that connects us all.

Much Love

Tantra

Tantra is such a big topic that I dare not attempt to convey my understanding of it in one blog post. While tantra for me personally usually refers to certain Yogic Practices, there is no denying the fact, that the word mostly associated with tantra, is sex.  Conscious sex or sacred sexuality, come up too, which of course are variable terms that can have as many definitions as there are human beings. We, after all, have varying degrees  of sacred experience, sexual experience and conscious awareness.

For some tantra means breathing heavily, exuding glottal moans, while shaking out their bodily numbness on a ten day retreat. For another it may mean dancing sensually and shamelessly so, which is the purpose of the dance, to eliminate shame and inhibitions to becoming liberated in sexual expression. We all have our own unique way of approaching sexuality. As far as the purpose of this post, it is only to relay some of my own experiences with regards to the topic, so I suppose this is the kind of “tantra” I’d like to write about – an approach to sexuality.

It is said that sex is the seed of consciousness. It is said the kundalini energy arises from the perineum, the base of the spine, upwards to reach the crown center, where it has become a form of pure consciousness as apposed to the expression of the primal needs of the lower centers.

It is said that sexual energy can express itself in any form. It starts with a mere spark of excitement, from there it can express itself to the act of sexual intercourse, or sensual intercourse. It can move a notch up to a different kind of sensual interaction, a dance, a delicious meal, an appreciation for the scent of a flower. Or, the inspiration can become a thought, an idea that gets developed, it can become a poem, an expression of the heart for the goodness of all, it can become a cause for the greater, an public announcement of some sort, or a vision for the future, perhaps a prayer of grace for all that is. Yes, it is said, that this mere energy which we call sexual energy has the potential to be anything.

And yet, we are very primal beings. For most of us, sexual energy refers to that which leads up the the act of sex, and nothing wrong, there is so much self-growth that can happen in just this realm alone.

For me, sex has always been about becoming more comfortable with myself and allowing for the most intimate experience I am capable of. When I look at the format of all these tantra retreats, I get the impression that this is the case for most of us.

So I wonder how many people reading this has the memory of using sex as a tool to become aware of and challenge their insecurities. Naturally we do become aware of our insecurities in this intimate sharing, and that is why it is such a great tool to challenge ourselves little by little to overcome them. We get challenged by gross thoughts such as my “my ass is fat,” or “I didn’t shave,” but beyond that the smaller habits of withdrawal; manipulation,  and power plays reveal themselves.

In the ultimate dance between two people, how easy is it to hide behind the more dramatic expression of another, or to rush over the unfamiliar exploration to the familiar end out of fear of how to be in the discovery?

How often we just stick to what we know, rather than to be active in listening and feeling moment by moment to our own bodies? Or sometimes we intellectualize about what the other person may want, need, or feel. This is the easiest way out of the dance… thinking that we care and by thinking rather than feeling really abandoning our partner in the vulnerability of intimacy.

Like this, sex can be a meditation of becoming aware of just when we hold back, or when we are hiding from a deeper desire, or a deeper level of sensitivity perhaps due to shyness, or trying to please another, or something of the kind.

For me, there is this constant reminder of checking in with the authenticity of my presence, which can only be controlled by relaxing my body, my breath, and thus relaxing my mind. Through the act of sex lies the power of transformation for every person to come to their most authentic self and be liberated by it.

The rest of this post is a mere story of synchronicity which brought me closer to some concepts of tantra.

Cape Town, where I used to live in my early twenties have gone through many transformations. During this time it was going through a rough patch and was not particularly safe around many of the areas close to the city center. I was walking through a park one afternoon and since I didn’t have a car, walking longer distances was comfortable for me. Yet that time I became distinctly aware of the fact that the park may not be safe to walk through. I was too far from the entrance to turn back and had to simply make it to the other side.

Naturally various scenarios started playing through my head of what could happen. What would I do if a man with ill intentions meet me from ahead? Will I outsmart him intellectually, pacify him in some way? Maybe, with enough mental preparation, will power and grace that is possible, but what would I do if a whole group of men approach me in a similar manner? There would be nothing I could do.

In such a case I would have to surrender completely. I would have to realize in completion that my body is separate from my wisdom – that which is untouchable. I would have to be as serene as possible to cause myself the least harm, as resistance during conflict usually ends up more ugly than relaxation does.  I would have to access a part of my mind through-out the entire time that my body is occupied, which sends out the vibration of prayer in order for these men to be blessed by consciousness in their doing; for their own actions to become a turning point for the better in their lives through self-awareness.

This whole mindset took some preparation, I can only imagine how focused I must have looked marching my way through the isolated park. Nothing happened, I came out the other way without encountering a single person.

The reason this memory stuck with me is because that very same week I received the recommendation of a book called “Sky Dancer – the secret life and poems of Yeshe Tsogyal”She was one of the first, (actually the first if I have it right) Tibetan students of tantra from the teacher Padmsambhava and is recognized as a female Buddha.

The story goes that she left ran away from home and got raped by 5 men who immediately became her disciples. Of course I could hardly believe what I read it after my own little experience, but I understood that I had undergone an initiation, even though it was only in my mind.

So that is me on sex as meditation and the transformational power of it, as well as sharing a little of my own experiences.

Much love.

Finding your style of meditation

Meditation can be divided into three categories. It is true that one cannot exist without the other, and that practicing one form of meditation results in the practice and benefit of the others too. However, to simplify the mystery of this vast practice, I’ve decided to differentiate between three approaches and identify some of the individual practices that can be associated with each approach.

Stillness Meditation

Awareness Meditation

Creative Meditation

Stillness meditation usually refers to having one’s entire focus on a single object or point of focus, for the purpose of quieting one’s mind.

Focusing on a single object for a prolonged period of time, results in a meditative state. Scientists have most commonly named this meditative state as the Theta brainwave state and have found it very conducive to desirable outcomes in goal setting, intention setting and creative problem solving.

The following are single focus practices:

Chanting Mantras.

Gazing at the sun.

Gazing at a candle.

Focusing on the breath.

Pranayama – breathing exercises.

Nadayama – sound repetitions.

Awareness practices teach us about our relationship to the world around us, through the relationship with ourselves. By intimately knowing how we operate at an energetic level, we gain understanding about the law of attraction, cause and effect and the changing nature of all that is. Becoming mindfully aware of our thoughts and how our thoughts affect our lives, as well as the lives of others; we have opportunity to make wiser decisions and choose a life we desire.

Examining our true desires in such a way, usually reveals our deeper desires for peace, happiness and harmony. When making choices based on these values, we live according to values the whole of humanity share at it’s core. It becomes an attractive quality which radiates outwardly and thus improve relationships of all nature positively.

Examples of awareness practices are:

Body scanning.

Observing Thoughts/Emotions

Sensory awareness

Conceptual absorption

Present moment awareness

Creative practices are ways of focusing in on a specific issue, as revealed through awareness/mindfulness, with a specific outcome in mind. One may become mindfully aware of discord between yourself and another individual, and choose to visualize a happy relationship between you.

In Tibetan practices, a practitioner may focus on the image of a deity in order to invoke those specific qualities within oneself. In Christianity, one may verbally name all those you wish healing for in prayer. These are all examples of creative meditation. Although creative meditation can be effective by itself, it is recommended to practice stillness and awareness meditation beforehand, in order to create holistically sound intentions with an enhanced focus.

Examples of creative practices are:

Prayer

Creative visualization

Forgiveness practice

Healing visualization

All of the best with your meditative practice!

How do you give up an unhealthy, dysfunctional habit, whether it’s drugs or compulsive thinking?

That is a very broad general question, dealing with a very personal, albeit common, problem. The approach to healing is very dependent on your personality.

My approach is to go to the root of the cause, which is always some need within yourself, which is not fulfilled. Being able to fulfill your deeper emotional needs is a tremendous step n the right direction to becoming a more wholesome person. (The “how to,” I will explain further down.)

Having said that, some people don’t have the capacity or interest to undertake that inner journey on their own, in which case I’d start identifying the external triggers. Think about ways to respond to those external triggers. For example. If a certain person’s remarks causes you to go into an negative thinking spiral, come up with an action plan to prevent it. It could be avoiding that person, having a rehearsed, empowering response back to that person, a notebook in your pocket with uplifting thoughts to grab after contact with that person, or a good friend to phone immediately that will help you prevent that negative spiral. Be creative.

If you simply want to change the negative habit with something positive, that can be easy. I know of people who replaced smoking with lemonade or water. I myself have replaced anger burst outs with laughter. I did make the conscious decision, went for a hypnotherapy session and released the pressure on myself to “get it right.”

For the deeper work, there are various methods to start working with the emotional needs you are not currently fulfilling in your own life. Inner child work is my absolute favorite. There are plenty free examples on Youtube to choose form, or if it is in your budget, receiving this as session work from a professional practitioner delivers remarkable results. Remembering (or sometimes making up) events from your childhood where a certain need was not met can be very powerful. For example, not receiving attention, being treated unfairly, being abandoned or rejected, not being heard, or being bullied, or put under unnecessary pressure. As adult you can offer the appropriate response, support and love to the innocent child you meet. This is also quite fun!

Another very powerful method to start observing and changing unhealthy reactive patterns is through mindfulness meditation. Vipassana Meditation offers worldwide courses. These however is not suitable for drug addiction or serious mental conditions, for which the first step is always finding professional assistance.

Best wishes.

If you have questions, feel free to respond to this blog, or send them to me directly at mandumandala@gmail.com.

Do you know how to follow your heart?

There is a lot of emphasis in the self-help industry which sells the concept of following one’s heart. The most accepted thought around this seems to be that by following your heart you are following your path of happiness.

Following one’s heart as opposed to following one’s head seem to refer to going after the experiences in life that are more meaningful to a person, where as following one’s head seem to refer to what is more logical, what makes most sense, or what seems to be right.

I have no doubt that both strategies are needed at times and they work very well in synergy with one another, however I’ve always wondered what really is meant by “following your heart.”  If ever you have been at crossroads in your life, you may agree that this kind of answer can be quite a trigger.

How is one supposed to follow your heart, and what does it even mean?

I have heard it being described as an overwhelming desire, an deep urge to fulfill, and to act on one’s dreams. If your heart is like mine, this would translate to traveling to every country in the world, eating the finest food, attending retreats and seminars which will help you grow, and spending hours with people you love. Perhaps spending hours in volunteer work, and by the end of it, quite possibly you may still wonder wether really you are following your heart? Even though all those things may make a person very happy, if it is not fulfilling the deeper needs of one’s soul, they are mere distractions.

Even the most noble ambitions and actions may simply be reactions. Reacting is to have a feeling in the body and to take action based on it, without the deeper knowing of whether the action will lead you to peace and happiness. It is like acting with wishful thinking, hoping that you will be closer to your goal, but without the courage of clear evaluation and decisive responsibility. It is no different than wanting to lose weight, yet grabbing an ice cream at the first sight of it.

To know what really to follow, a person has to know his/her core values. You can approach this task through intellectual activities, yet raising the question of your personal values will inevitably lead you to your feelings, and as soon as you realize that feelings change quite rapidly, you will be directed to use your intuition.

It is my belief and experience one has to develop intuition – a sense of knowing, in order to fulfill your deeper desires, and the way to develop one’s intuition is through meditation.

Through meditation all the immediate needs of the mind falls away until you reach the lesser immediate needs, which sometimes can be thought of as deeper desires, and yet deeper to these are our true needs, our true desires, our true wishes.

The funny thing is that there is no urgency here. These wishes, needs and desires have so much patience to be fulfilled and just touching on them, leave us with a peaceful feeling of inspiration. This knowing shines a light and shuns the anxiety of having to do the right thing, of having to follow the right dream, of having to follow one’s heart. This is a true path to bliss.

namaste